I agree with the bereavement..I lost myself somewhere, and it took years to get myself back. The "me" I was betrayed me. The highs are sadly gone for the most part, but I don't forget how horrible the depressions were. The acceptance came when I looked back and was able to see how high a price I had paid in terms of years being sick and refusing to acknowledge it. I wouldn't have wasted those years fighting BP on my own, if I would've accepted it sooner. I would hate to see anybody waste time like I did when it is so much better to take the bull by the horns and wrestle it to the ground with meds and therapy.