i don't know if this is true for you at all or not; but sometimes when i'm doing things I connect them with a person - like especially with T but with others as well. At some level although i'm doing things for myself, it's much easier to do something if I think i'm doing it for someone else instead. So something like doing the mindfulness; if you are picturing doing it for your T, and now she isn't there so why bother? even though you know it would still help you; the thinking gets confused? (sorry this isn't coming out very clearly )