I had an entire long response here, but my internet crapped out & I lost it!!

Abridged version: Just know you are always yourself, despite your diagnoses. And I know how alluring it can be to agonize over what's wrong with you, especially when all you want is a better understanding of yourself. You sound VERY characteristic of BPD, but as for your psychosis & cyclical patterns, you could very well be BP too. What I am curious about is why mood stabilizers don't work on you but an all-out antipsychotic works wonders. Most BP patients can usually respond to an atypical antipsychotic to stabilize their moods. But you're never going to know what's going on with you until you ask a professional. You could have a personality disorder, a mood disorder, a psychotic disorder, an anxiety disorder, or any combination of the above-- You'll never know until you see someone & you are fully transparent with them. Some people have a tendancy to forget that their doc isn't a mind reader. Hope that helps & hope you find some closure soon!! : )