Could it be she means, "you're not trying hard enough?" I'm not sure. That can be hard to hear. Your "apparently not" comment made me think that you may feel invalidated by what she said and that your hard work has not been acknowledged or respected. I am glad you are going to discuss this with her so you can get it sorted out so that it won't cause friction between you. I hope she can give concrete examples of what making a commitment to happiness looks like. I think what she said is kind of abstract and I know it would help me understand if I heard some examples.