Oh my gosh!!!-- It's as if you are me!!!

I so adore the sea.... it's gentleness filled with beautiful delicate life, yet it has a fury which can rip up a ship that requires respect. I've never had the fortune to have lived near the sea-- perhaps it's best this way, as I would find it extremely difficult to stay away from it's moist breezes and ignore it's hypnotic breaths it takes as each wave pulls at the sand only to roll it back on to the beach. It seems so innocent and peaceful yet has a mysterious darkness that I fear and respect.

I'm also afraid of drowning-- not only because I helplessly watched someone drown but also because:

I fell off a raft once when I was with an older brother in a lake. I was 6 and couldn't swim-- he was 16 and could stand with his head just above the water. He tried to climb in the raft, it tipped over and I fell out. Flailing about, I quickly started sinking......then something gripped my arm and pulled me up out of the water..... as I gasped and chocked, I could hear my brother laughing hysterically!!

I never went near the water with him ever again!

I don't think your fear is ridiculous at all. A boat can be scary to many people. Perhaps you have repressed a memory or it could also be that you've seen drownings on movies -- (those can be so realistic!!-- I can't watch them because they seem so real!) -- or maybe even on the news..???

Please try not to be hard on yourself......

I have learned to swim and over came some of the fear, by believing that the water I'm around is my "friend". Maybe that sounds a bit simple or silly...... just thought I would share..... in case it could work for you too.

Time0--

mandy