(((Rayna)))) I'm glad you were able to post about this. Keeping all that inside when you really don't have to (we are anonymous here) would be difficult.

It's common to "fall" for someone who cares and understands. (Note so many patients desiring their Ts.) It's a natural inclination, imo. When you haven't had a good life full of love and respect, it's easy to fall for anything that even remotely resembles "love."

I think there's plenty more here, and behind the scenes in his marriage, than anyone can see.

Now here's the tough love: this guy doesn't deserve you. He couldn't take a step he thinks he needs to make, without having a "back-up" (YOU) ?????? He still needs a crutch.

It sounds like you are both trying to "do the right thing." IMO, you need to leave "the scene" for a long time (a year or two.) THEN if you both meet again and are unemcumbered, it might work out.

If you "need" him that much, then you haven't become a "whole" person on your own yet... why not take a bit more time for yourself?

TC...