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Old Sep 08, 2011, 11:31 AM
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SoupDragon SoupDragon is offline
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Member Since: Oct 2010
Location: in a cave
Posts: 6,977
Quote:
Originally Posted by Ygrec23 View Post
Hey, Soup!

I knew I'd run into the problem of people thinking I was advocating "Campbell's Soup" type advertising, something everyone looks down on and no one wants to be associated with. Of course, I didn't mean in any way to drag down the moral value of the reasons and motivations PC members have to seek the input of others. But, unfortunately, getting people's attention and making them desirous of participating relies for the most part on exploiting age-old human wishes and needs that no one has ever done as well as those who are paid to write advertising copy. (And no, just for the record, that's something I've never been involved with.)

You say that there are times when "it is just a case of wanting to know I am not alone on this planet." And that at such times you can't "think objectively." I'd respond, my friend, that it's ESPECIALLY at such times, times "when you want to know you're not alone on this planet," that you need to invest your best effort into a thread title.

Do I realize what I'm saying? Yes. To a great degree. When I too (or anyone, for that matter) wants/desires/desperately needs "affirmation," I (or anyone else) don't want to put on an act, to "tap dance" for insincere reactions. I want people, friends to react to who I really am (are you listening, Mom?), not to some desperately hokey "act" that I put on. Which would certainly nix a Madison Avenue approach.

And yet there's a trade-off here that has to be acknowledged. Unless I get across my message, fewer people will come to my party. But if I'm just "me," without the neon lights of creative phrasing, no one may come. I guess if one is willing to risk that, one can publish the most opaque threads and just challenge people to come. It's kind of a dare. I'll write my thread title in Hungarian and we'll see if people react. If they do, they really care for me. If not, then at least I know the truth.

I wonder. I really do. I wonder if people's participation and response despite impenetrable phraseology means "they care." I've thought about this and I can't answer it right now. I just don't know. I well understand the resistance to "false self" wording, the desire to be affirmed as to who one "really" is. I just don't know if creative titling detracts from such affirmation or just indicates an acceptance of human nature. Only one's mother will/would have/should have loved and affirmed you in that manner. Is it really fair to expect that kind of affirmation from others? Take care.
Yes I do get your point, reading the titles of threads is what I guess most of us do before opening them to read more. I also note that you acknowledge that for some people who are having a particular struggle, it may be difficult for them to think "creatively" about a thread title - I guess in the same way someone with a broken arm turning up at ER would not think how best to convey their pain / injury but may just blurt out the fact that it damn well hurts.

On the days that I feel more robust, I actually search the threads, not by title but by number of responses, as I assume that everyone that makes any effort to post on here has a need for contact as I know I do.

I value the more challenging posts on here too and I have received some great insights from you, but I think there are times when I may find such tough challenges more difficult - for example on a low day reading your thread, I may go into a whole negative thing of how awful my threads are, that I am not wanted / liked etc.. of course on good days I can rationalise this and be interested in your views.

Many thanks - Soup
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Soup
Thanks for this!
Ygrec23