Hi SoupDragon,

Thanks for posting. This is an interesting topic. About six years ago I was having dinner with my dad and his wife and my dad told me point blank, "face it, you've never made any good decisions in your life." He has shown doubt in me before but never said anything so hurtful. He was drinking at the time and later gave me a weak apology but it has taken me years of therapy and ACoA to work at getting his voice out of my head. I have a terrible time trusting myself (for this and other reasons). I have felt like I never make the right decisions and I am constantly setting myself up for failure - the only end result in my life.
Only now I am trying to re-parent myself and tell myself that it's OK to trust myself again, that I have received some very bad advice and wrong direction from my parents. It is a difficult thing to re-learn. Right now I am thinking about going back to school and feel somewhat hollow inside about it. I don't even know what I want. I want to want. I want to make a better life for myself. I want to earn a better living. These are all good things. But I never trust that I am on the right track - or even near the right track. I would like to know what it feels like to trust yourself. I did it once before. But I have a hard time remembering what it feels like now...
Can you think of some reasons why you may have this reaction to trusting yourself? Were you given some bad direction?

Elana...