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It's like everything I've done and still do is a reaction to that abuse (even pre-verbal beliefs of worthlessness). Basically I feel like if I address the emotional issues, then maybe I'm not the same person. Maybe if I change from coping with the world as someone who was emotionally abused, I'll find I'm not the same person because the way I coped defines so much of me.
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This is SO well-stated!
I also feel like the abuse I experienced has shaped me in MASSIVE ways. On the other hand, I have recently talked about a lot of positive events from my history with my T to try to put things in perspective. I am able to see now that the abuse shaped me, but so did other things. And as a matter of fact, some of the ways the abuse shaped me are things I value about myself, like my sensitivity and compassion.
Your concern makes so much sense to me. I think the change that happens in T is often not about changing who we are, but how we see ourselves. It's a big risk to see ourselves more positively, after such negative experiences.