It sounds stupid, but I don't know how to deal with it. Both my brothers married this year, and now our families huge and I'm having a hard time dealing with that. I love them, they're all really nice (thank god), but growing up in a small family (jut me, my brothers and my mom and uncle, rest his soul) there are a lot of things that I'm trying to get used to. Staying in touch for one. my highschool friends and I lost touch, though I think that would'nt have happened had my family and I moved right after I graduated. After college, I was left with a handful of real friends (had a bunch of toxic ones I cut ties with )- and then I dropped and broke my phone (over 6 years ago, they weren't that sturdy) and I lost contact with them- needless to say, I've been pretty reclusive since then. So now all of a sudden I have new family members who are really caring and loving, and nice (and I like them a lot too) and I'm not sure how to conduct myself. I don't want to be needy and email or call them all the time like a weirdo, but most likelty I'll just lose touch until the next family gathering if I don't make an effort, because then I don't want them to feel I'm ingenuine. I just don't think I'm much of a people person.
Another thing- since my family has always been small/immediate (immediate family memebrs only) I'm not used to the whole thanks you card/holiday card stuff. I often forget or am late. Granted it's only been a year now- I don't know if it's change I don't llike, or I'm simply lacking/have a character flaw. It's a struggle. I usually don't get depressed, but I've had times where I think of suicide (which I don't think I'd ever do) because it'd be easier than the downward progression of my family relations that I see as inevitable. I already feel a change. It's hard. I do so well when first meeting and getting to know a person, but then things get weird, for lack of a better word. (sigh) I hope my bf doesn't get tired of me too. Goodnight.