((hugs)) Thank you both.
Madisgram, you are so right, I did post cause I don't want this issue to spiral out of control and I am starting to see the signs of that.
I never been in love and I want to be in love so badly with social phobia it does not help much. Instead of being in love when I am out to the store with my only friend I seem to get many guys looking the other way once they see my face, this is a trigger for me to come home and take meds, to cover the pain of rejection instead of not being able to fall in love. It deeply hurts. I hope I get the strength to tell my doctor the truth. I want to be ready but I feel I am not and I don't want this to get out of control My next appointment is in the middle of Oct. This is something I have to pray about.
Thanks again my dear friends (hugs)