I can relate to a lot of your issues. People like therapists constantly say you'll be a better version of yourself after treatment, but I wonder about who I am and whether it's all shaped by the hurting too. However, therapy is not meant for changing who you are, it's for changing how you cope. Which is only part of who you are. And if you feel a particular way of relating to the world or whatever is fine for you, then you can say not to address that in therapy. But I can understand you aren't sure if this maybe.