If I eat the cheese that falls off my cracker, does that make me a cannibal?

I don't know what happened to me. The day was going pretty swell. Sun is shining, birds tweeting, feeling strong, reading the forums (thanks guys), dealing with work efficiently, virtually no conflict...

Now my heart is RACING with panic and anticipation and impending dread all at once! (note: feeling description true to life).

For all my bravado of getting over it he called several times today. I pushed, PUSHED. Albeit passively, verbally, whatever ya want to label it. I outright asked WHEN WHY NOW WTF I CAN'T TAKE ANYMORE. It didn't get me anywhere. Just another whiff of - I'll call if we can meet up later. Ya know what that's for???HUH??? To get me to sit around all night by myself (cuz god forbid I give attention to anyone else) and WAIT WAIT WAIT so that I can get stood up for the billionth time and cry my friggin eyes out. I am PISSED.

SOMEONE ANYONE PLEASE GIVE THE LAST DAMN STRAW AND BREAK THIS STUPID CAMEL'S BACK. SMACK ME, SHAKE ME, WAKE ME THE F UP. There has GOT to be another male humanoid on this planet (preferably in this State - but not solely of course) that would light me up like this man does. If there isn't then what? Huh? Can anyone tell me that? Then what?