Hi Katix3. I meant to reply to this earlier, and never got around to it. Sorry about that.

I understand what it is like to have social anxiety. It's a lot worse than people who haven't experienced it assume that it is. As humans, we need social acceptance, just like we need food and water. When this fundamental psychological need remains unmet, we feel a host of negative emotions-sadness, anxiety, frustration, anger- and have dark and anxious thoughts. You are not alone in feeling the way you do, even though it probably seems that way.

You should consider seeing a therapist. S/he can help you learn how to overcome your anxiety so you can form the human bonds that you so need and deserve. Get help, and don't let your anxiety deprive the world of the privilege of getting to know you!