i was wondering if anybody has ever been in the midst of ....

hmm well let me first say that i remember very little of my my life ... that is not new ... what is new is that well

GRRR i dont know how to say in words

i cant keep up ... and i know i cant .. i guess that is the difference finding myself --in the middle of march when the last clear living i did was in january ... i keep thinking ahhh okay now i have a handle .. now i feel inside of myself only to find myself weeks later ---- not believing it is weeks later and thinking how well i feel and how inside myself i am only to like .. its like waking up and finding myself again with weeks past and it taking me completely by surprise because of how much i feel inside of myself -- and i feel like i have a handle on things --- it is one thing to find time gone when u know u have been out of it
has anybody kept thinking that they have a handle on things over and over to keep finding over and over and over they are missing giant gaps in time








if anybody has any ideas about what is going on .... or how to really get inside of myself and quit just thinking i am inside of myslef .... i really need ideas thanks

zoey