how is WW going to get "untrapped"? she does sound trapped and so did i when my family was torn upside down and all around and in horrible turmoil. at some point, a child has to learn to cope with their misdeeds and not have a "nest" to go forth from and cause more grief.

a husband, to me, is an entirely different situation. different cat. i had an alcoholic, abusive and cheating husband.

there are, in my mind, more solutions for wives than there are for mothers. I HAD FOUR TEENAGERS AT THE SAME TIME. all are sober and clean, now, and i don't go to bed wondering where they are, who they are with and what they are doing. and i'm not saying that they didn't misbehave as young adults. they did. but toughlove was used then too.

it's all coming from our own life experiences and i'm coming from mine.and others are coming from theirs. if Wisewoman doesn't want to accept any of the advice she gets, that is her perogative.