Hi Dreamwolf,
I see your a new member here at PC, welcome to PC.
Well, let me see, I have to think way back about when I was your age. I could say that I was apprehensive about myself and my abilities back then. I did look at other students and compared myself to them and wondered if I was worthy of their friendships and yes I did listen to conversations and ponder. There were other students that presented better work than me artistically but I did like art and drawing and I did have my own style.

Do you know the famous Artist Monet? Well if you get a chance, see if you can find examples of his work. He is one my daughters favorite artists and she had some very big posters of his work on her walls. One night I was sitting on her bed chatting with her and I looked at the posters she had and I asked her why she liked his work and she said that she loved how his work was hazy and colorful and soft.

So after looking at the posters of a couple of his paintings I thought about the time period that he lived and I also knew that there were other artists during that time and they all knew each other and their work was all different in style and presentation. Then, thinking about that time and looking at Monet's work and seeing it was kind of blurry (back then they called it impressionistic art) I presented my daughter with a question. I asked her if maybe this artist really saw the world that way. Now back then they didn't have glasses to correct vision problems like they have today and it is very possible that that artist actually did see the world in blurry vision, something that I am sure not many, if any, have thought of.

My daughter then looked at the posters of his paintings and looked at me with big eyes and said, "Gee, you may have something there, I never thought of that".

When we do art, it is an individual rendition of whatever we are creating. And just because you may think that your work is not as good as others, doesn't mean it doesn't have an artistic value to it.

You are still very young and just getting aquainted with different aspects of art, do not judge yourself just yet. If you like art, go to different art museums and even get different books that show different artists and look at the differnt ways they express art. It is not always the perfection that is the real art, it can be a unique impression of art that is presented that can be considered very valuable.

And the same goes for you and how you feel about yourself and even having a thought and then rethinking those thoughts. Because that too is very common for a young an growing brain and can even be a sign of intelligence as your brain likes to look at things from different perspectives rather than just a 1,2,3 simple basis. You are contemplating and that is ok. Most of the things that we have, everything, including clothing, novels, art, technology, are all products of people who contemplate and use their brains to look at different scenarios. So you don't have to fight that desire, it is your brain thinking and thinking about different possibilities. And it is a sign of intelligence and that you are developing your sense of perceptions and perspectives of your environment in new ways, you brain grows a lot and will for another 10 years. And then it rests for a bit and then grows in smaller spirts when you get older.

Oh, and that feeling of not being able to think straight, well, your brain is really being stimulated and that is why many teens your age and even older get very tired and even sometimes think it is depression. You have to make sure that you get plenty of rest and try to take out time to meditate and just clear your mind and concentrate on your beathing and relax. That will really help a lot during these up coming years of a lot of brain stimulation in learning and contemplating your environment and those around you that are in that environment.

Open Eyes