Finally sat down with hubby the other day and talked about how we can start splitting the responsibilies between us so I am not feeling overwelmed.

Just so you know, I made a post in general last week called "I'm a loser". It pretty much explains everything up to this point.

Anyway, he was pretty receptive to the talk. Said we could do it together that way we are both on aware of what is going on. I saw it as a compromise so I was pretty happy with that. In addition, I explained that I didnt appreciate him pointling out that I missed the mortgage payment because I already felt bad enough.

I wanted to also explain to him that he, weather he relized it or not, was putting a tremendous amount of pressure on me. I just got back to work after several months. I havent get gotten the groove down yet but getting there. I come home from there, make dinner, hang with the kids, the dogs, hubby. Sometimes I get to watch some TV other times I dont. I go to bed and start the whole routine over again. In the middle of this I have to find the time to keep the check book balanced and keep food in the house and make sure all the bills are paid. I guess to some people this is an easy task, but for me, its not so easy. I have a terrible memory and I try to write things down so I dont forget. Anyway, I told him that he relies on me too much to make sure things are on track. I am not a superwomen and I do need help. I already have three kids and I dont need four. So I told him to please HELP me.

All was ok until this morning when I told him we were going to run into a squeeze by the end of the week. He demanded details so I showed him the bills, then I showed him the check book. Easy to see that you cant get blood from a stone. He starts looking at me like I have done something wrong and starts questioning me about where the money is. WHAT THE HELL? I just started working. I get paid on Friday the 31st but the rent is due and its not enough for the rent and utilities.

Thing is, I am upset because he is not working yet. He will start soon working with my step father but as of right now he is not and again, it all seems like it is falling on me and I have had it up to my eyeballs.

I told him that I will no longer be responsible for the bills. It is his problem now. I turned over the checkbook, my debit card and the credit cards. I told him that I will require an allowance of 15.00 a week and thats it.

I cant take it. I am not going to be the fall guy here. I cant snap my fingers and make everything ok. I cant and I am sick of him thinking its all me.