MANIA & THE JOURNEY FROM OVERWHELMING PSYCHOSIS TO PURE BEAUTIFUL, BLISS.

Literally every second of yesterday from when I woke up at 10 until about 7:30pm consisted of a horrific panic attack & constant paranoia. Every noise was someone tracking my movements & spying on me. I was scared of my soon-to-be mother-in-law because I thought she was evil incarnate & wanted to pull me away from her son (though she really is a genuinely sweet lady to everyone, I was just afraid that her niceness was too good to be true & planned out specifically to target me). I've been checking for the past 2 days at a condo window relatively far away from me because I think they've somehow been spying on me. Even isbn numbers & other random numbers have been mocking me & I think they were placed there specifically to taunt me so I will realize what they're up to. It was literally the most paranoid I've ever been & I couldn't stop shaking or hyperventilating or being scared.

Today, however, has been a complete 180 degree turnaround! My boyfriend & I took a "mental health day" which essentially means exploiting our good-feeling mania to go out to eat, get ice cream, & buy some new videogames & hairdye since he got his paycheck. A little splurging, but nothing we couldn't afford. I've been feeling so good today. It just goes to show that it doesn't always last forever... Though those people in the condo across from me still kind of bother me a little, but at least it's not overwhelming. Night before last I was crawling on the floor in the dark so they couldn't see me. : /