Thank you Rose For all that you said.

but the above quote I took- It seems like a curse at the same time Rose- I was told in my last session "do you even need therapy" and she pointed out that I am doing a lot of things already on my own, and that what we talk about I understand what coping methods she is suggesting due to I do them but they do not always work for some reason... As I said sitting there, and as I have told my boyfriend (which at times worries him) is that "I guess I just have to try harder"... she did not say anything to that. So guess that is what it is- but it is not like I dont try when I am depresses.. it at times can confuse me and make things worse though (I did not mention that guess I should had?) this was just my 2nd session so being fully open is still a little hard but I am talking to her.

She is over booked and overwhelmed as she told me so (lol?) I appreciate her honesty. She said she would be willing to continue with me or maybe I could back when I am in need... I told her as I have said either here or some where else- I wanted some coping methods before my next down.... She has suggested for me to go on medications the two times we have meet for therapy-- I dont like that, cuz i really wanted to try talk therapy first.

ANY WAYS! I made an appt to see their Pdoc I am excited in a way. I would like to hear what they have to say- Though I am scared too cuz what are they going to ask- or what not- I did not ask what type of evaluation they perform..... plus it is a dude (nothing against guys but not sure if I will be as opened or put on "Strong BeauFlow" lol.. any who...
I am disappointed in a way and feel pushed off by this therapist, but it is ok.

I do understand she is over worked and so on (county place)
And I should take it as a complement I guess that I don't appear as bad as others (though she wants to talk the next time about something that which I blurted out before I left: my rock thing with my boyfriend before we were together with signs and stuff-(did not tell of other things of the sort though)--but if she remembers to bring it up next time I will talk about it lol,
I Say if she remembers to bring it up due to she kept thinking I was already on meds but I am not (lol?) Also she said to keep up on my dairy cards at the end of my session which was rushed due to we went over time (sorry i chatter when i chatter at times)- which we never went over and I dont know what she is really talking about to be honest but I assume this is a diary- which I already started doing journal--- she seems stressed (lo?).

I think I may back off on help or see if there is another Therapist I can see that maybe a little less stressed and over booked. I already told her basically what day would be good for you to see me for my next appt... lol. it makes me laugh cuz like is it to be this way? my boyfriend says no- and it is perhaps just the county at this time with being over booked, and that if i went to private practice they would be different.

And as always No matter what I will always try, I just wanted some more coping skills that i was not already using=---- A part of me feels like she is mad cuz I am already knowledge with what she is suggesting and been trying my best to do them for years... I know these are Not the ONLY coping skills out there right that is was one reason i wanted to do therapy to get some more and work on them... any who..... sorry for the ramble but this is my update i guess- and it has nothing to do with the original question

I guess one thing that i keep getting told- as I already mentioned I need to be stable to get into family and past issues and to resolve them...
She did say this: They go hand and hand,. i need to work on the now issues to work on the past issues---
a part of me gets this--
another part of me does not due to is it not my past which has created these issues? why wouldnt going with that first solve some issues now?
I know a whirl wind could occur with that correct? i.e. if I am not stable and we get into some touchy subjects I could get worse with some aspects (like depression maybe or is it something else that I am missing of the whirl wind thing?) iDk

good day all I hope you all well and dont worry I will stay on psych central- It has helped a lot