I've changed careers many times. But I always wanted to be a performer, as in an actor... Now I'm actually pursueing my dreams after getting done with academics, got my bachelors and masters.. not in acting though.

But I always have this fear that stops me from moving forward... When the time comes to start pursueing something, I feel like I'll work super hard and it'll all go down the drain. Most of the time i'm weighing whether its worth to do it or not.

For example,

I need to lose weight. I constantly fear that I'll go for jogs, and eat right etc... and then I might lose weight, but then I'll gain it back, so then whats the point??

What is this? Is it a fear of success or failure?

I also feel that IF i do become a known actor, something I do or something will happen that will pull me down.. so then what do i do next?

Am I too obsessed with the future?

Idk why I'm just not able to give it my all to anything. I'm scared all the time.

Same with relationships. I feel like I'll put myself out there, and then something will happen, the person will hurt me, and then i'll be left there to pick up scraps.