Hi all

Thank you to everyone for taking the time to respond to me and my situation... I'm relaxed for now, actually fell asleep for a while, and am handling things as best as I can...

I wanted to add something that I realized after seeing a PM... My T actually feels being on these forums, ad/or relying on them, is a NEGATIVE thing. She says this is co-dependency. Well, while it may fit the definition, I certainly do NOT see her walking in ANY of our footsteps for 10 minutes.. Only then will she realize that for some of us, maybe even most of us, is that THIS is our only 'out' to the rest of the world. Due to the attacks, AG, etc., I RARELY go anywhere - about the only time I do is to get to the Dr's or T's.. She is also hell-bent on considering me an addict, all bcuz I can't go a day w/out Xanax. Well, again, you're NOT in my shoes and that is what medication is made for. Now if I'm taking 20 a day, just to get all high or something, then I'd understand that; since that is FAR from the case, and given I can't even leave the house most of the time due to flipping out, then who are you to accuse me?

I konw this has nothing to do w/my previous post, but this actually diverted my attention for the last hour or so.. Instead of sitting here worrying, stressing, being scared, etc., I'm now concentratig at how ridiculous it is that the people that are supposed to be helping us are trying to run our lives instead of help US run our own lives... I am sure this is not the case for most T's or doctors and I want to make it clear that I'm not slamming them. I just feel that it is horrible to make someone's situation worse by telling them you're 'co-dependent' on your internet forums (so I'm not allowed to have friends to talk about my issues with?) as well as accuse you of being a drugee (I could take her several blocks South of Downtown Indy and REALLY show her drug addicts if this is the case) all over being on Xanax for over a decade.... Again, it is made for a reason and it is being used for the right reasons.... I supposed I'm also addicted to my blood pressure medicaiton, my allergy medication, and my asthma inhalers too!!!

Anyway - Thanks to all again for hearing me out... At least I'm not still all upset over the nightmares and so forth; once again, the GOOD PEOPLE HERE have been here for me and done a wonderful job by taking time to help another. Feel free to do the same w/me whenever you need it - i am here Hugs and Thanks again ~ Niko