(((((SadNJNY)))))
There is never going to be a short supply of people who are more than willing to say
others are "not good enough". And from what I have seen from you so far, your a nice person who has never truely been given the permission to just "BE" and "BE WHATEVER YOU ARE CAPABLE OF BEING".

But what does it really mean when others state you are not good enough? What it is really saying is that these other people are probably expecting too much of others to begin with. You have somehow allowed others to define you, and that my friend is a real presciption for depression and lack of a sense of self worth. And to be honest, a real "friend" is one who is willing to accept you for what you are and if you do disappoint them (people never fail to disappoint others) that "friend" can offer forgiveness, describe how you can improve the friendship by adding something or leaving something out and so on. And as far as "family" is concerned? Oh, have you been reading other posts and questions in PC? There is no such thing as a perfect family and most people here can quickly describe the disfuctional aspect of their families and how that has effected them, and I too am included in that. And "Lovers"? It sounds like the people you gave that identity to truely were not worthy of that identity. And you are in no way alone in mistaking that identity in someone you have tried to connect with on a romantic and spiritual and loving partnership.

I was standing in a line today waiting to prepay for gas and the line was about 10 people long. The man in front of me decided that he did not want to wait any more and walked away in a grumble. I was glad he left because he stunk so bad I was begining to feel nauseous. And I could hear other grumbling comments behind me and there was one man standing off to the side and I was not really sure he was in line until I asked him if he was in front of me and he shyly said yes and I replied, oh than please step in front of me, I would not want you to think I would want to somehow jump in front of you. And that man quietly smiled and moved in front of me. And the line was slow because the man that was trying to buy gas could not get a credit card to work, he probably was running out of credit and doing the best he could to buy some gas to get around. And when he finally completed the transaction his behavior was of a man pretending that it was really the fault of the card or something other than the real reason.

And as I stood there one thing popped into my head, "THE INSANITY OF HUMANITY".
No one in that line actually felt that that wait or process or service "WAS GOOD ENOUGH". Very few people want to wait, be patient, or simply have any true regard for anyone other than themselves and how "THEIR NEEDS ARE BEING MET".

And even with all that negetive input that constantly gets passed out by "HUMANITY" the worst enemy and critic someone can have is "THEMSELVES".
And you can sit there and quickly prove my point by saying "YOU BELIEVE ALL CRITISIM INCLUDING YOUR OWN ABOUT YOU AND YOU REALLY ARE UNWORTHY.

The "CURE" to relieving yourself from this personal bondage is "LEARNING HOW TO BECOME YOUR OWN BEST FRIEND TO YOU". And by doing that you must come to the agreement that you will no longer punish yourself and give up trying to "LEARN" how to do things and learn things that allow you to better your own personal abilities. You will be a "REAL FRIEND TO YOURSELF" and decide that you will give yourself permission to take this opportunity to "LIVE YOUR LIFE AS BEST AS YOU CAN AND BE FORGIVING OF YOURSELF FOR ANYTHING YOU MISTAKEN OR HAVE DIFFICULTY ACHIEVING AND YOU WILL JUST CONTINUE TO TRY AS YOU DESERVE TO GIVE YOURSELF THE OPPORTUNITY TO TRY".

I am in no way a perfect person SadNJNY, but everday I "TRY" and it is a challenge and I have to practice having a little "FAITH IN MYSELF". And I will continue to have no problem finding other human beings that will be more than willing to critisize me for any effort I make. However, because I do "TRY"? I have found a few people here and there that do take notice and actually encourage me to continue my journey.

Open Eyes