This is a tough one, PBJ. I just read all your posts in this thread. You mentioned emotional abuse, then...fireworks and being lit up by the man.
You also mentioned the "N word"...Narcissist. Not able to tell by your description if he is indeed a Narcissist, but he does sound rather emotionally abusive.
I do know about the N...having spent a substantial 3 years recovering from a relationship in which I nearly lost everything materially, and to a greater degree emotionally. Not saying your man's a narcissist. (But if you think he is, then do some serious research...lots of it online.)

But...looking at what you have stated about him: He stood you up. More than once, I'm guessing. You spend an evening trying to be strong, occupy yourself with friends, activities, etc. You still feel bad. This is NOT good. Just try to be strong (I know how cliche this sounds), and make a rule that you will move on. You CAN do this, you know. It may mean spending some time alone, rather than running out to meet a man immediately. In fact, this may be the best course of action for you, to learn to be strong alone!