What not to say is a more difficult question. I have opened many a thread and thought "Oh suck it up", "seriously, all you want is attention and not the right kind", "really? you believe that?", "Your T is an ******", "OK, obviously healing is not what you are trying to achieve" and various other rather harsh things. For the most part I just scroll back up, hit new posts and move on as I don't think it would be a kind or appropriate thing to do.

Some members I know better though and will make such harsh statements because I know that they are strong enough to take it and/or know me well enough to understand that I am not saying it as a personal attack. Some are strong enough AND have a need for "tough love".

However, most are not here for that nor would they be helped by such harsh words. I think many come here to fill their need for "warm fuzzies", understanding, and support and most of the replies honor that AS THEY SHOULD. IRL is harsh and for most of us this is our one safe haven.