This is a good topic Ygrec23 because it actually provides an opportunity to really ponder.

I had talked about some that don't necessarily start a thread. And how some may need help but don't seem to quite know how to ask for it. And that got me to thinking about why I post and when I post and that I really haven't started but just a few threads. And those threads were when I first came here and they more of an effort to try to explain my issue. And I just basically put my feelings out there and I don't think I got many replies. And it didn't bother me.

And you made me realize something, I can be that person standing in the corner too when it comes to asking for help. I never really thought of myself this way but I don't really ask for help. And sadly, I can see how that happened in my life. And somehow it was an unconscious understanding of myself too. And many times I looked and there was just no one there so I had to figure it out for myself.

I put a lot of myself into my posts sometimes and I do have a deep respect for those that ask for help, and now I know that it is because I wanted to ask so many times but couldn't, and many times I HAD to be the one to answer. I have realized why I often give lengthy answers for another reason, many times I was answering for TWO, the op and myself.
Or the op may be asking a question that I too have addressed many times in my life and have figured out some answers on my own through life experiences.

But I don't answer questions everywhere, I look for those "CORE" questions. And if I see a disorder I don't really understand I don't just pound away. I might see a core question in that individual and make an attempt, but I cannot really advise on something I don't understand so I don't go into those forums, but I may take a peek to read and consider how those individuals feel and look at things. Because I have come to know that I learn things in the most unexpected places.

And if I visit a forum, even if it is in my realm of overall issue myself, if I see a question that has gotten a really good answer I often just put up a thank you or don't say anything at all.

In the beginning when I first came to PC I was so bad off that by answering questions that I could answer from my life experiences helped me take my mind off of the long days of terrible anxiety that I just had coming at me and did not always know why. And personally, my whole life people have been one puzzle after the other and I had no choice but to figure them out as most of the time it was how I learned to survive.

And even when I try to make an attempt to ask a question and I put a personal struggle out there, I have to be honest, I don't get an answer.And it is not just an inability of PC members. I presented the same question to my therapist and all he did was say I was in a sad position and it is sad that most of my life I have actually been a lonely person dealing with the issues of others that were just forced in my way. And I really didn't want that answer of recognizing that about me, I already know that, I was really hoping for him to come out with a strong answer that would be helpful, but as always that strong answer was just not there. Many people live a life around others and in many ways are alone and lonely, I have cried about that many times, but I can't just cry all the time, I wanted an answer that meant "heres how to buy yourself back".

And I think that is really why I give op's strong answers rather than just say, oh thats too bad. I know I try to give what I needed and wanted to hear. I never had the luxury of giving up, I had to run for the first half of my life and learn how to fight back for the latter part of my life, to this day. The one thing I do know is that I spent a good part of my life observing others just to survive.

And if someone admits that they are making mistakes, "ADMITS", and they are "TRYING" to do better, I truely respect that and I will try very hard to reach out to that person. And that is because many times in my life others have really hurt me and knew they were to blame and never admitted it. And I have to say I am a lover of the truth and anyone who admitts anything is someone willing to express a truth about themselves, a very honerable act in my opinion.

Because I have endured a lot, one would think that I would be cynical, no, it has only made me into a bottomless pit of empathy. And I guess on some level that as I sell others to themselves anyway I can, I just may be doing the same for myself. And I am not immune to knowing what it is like to want to give up on yourself too and I don't want to see anyone do that, including myself.

Open Eyes