Hello, MadSciPanda! Your situation is an exceptionally difficult one.
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...I have found no benefit in arguing with him at this point. Being defensive always makes the problems much worse and more awkward.
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You are correct.
Here's a possibly helpful PsychCentral article from a couple years ago:
When a Depressed Spouse Refuses Help by Erika Krull
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My dog
mastered the "fetch" command. He would communicate he wanted something, and I would fetch it.