O.K., I've avoided this for a couple decades, but I'm starting to feel like I want to somehow tell the two who raped me how much I hate their guts. They were never prosecuted, but what they did was especially brutal, very violent and would scare the hell out of an adult, let alone a child. They used guns and ropes and knives and screamed and I could hardly breath. I was so small, it was so absolutely just to be mean and intimidating and cruel and wicked for whatever perversity they had. I share this to help you understand the true nature of who I'm dealing with. On the surface, they're chuchgoing, smiling "upstanding" members of the community. In reality, they're as vicious as you can imagine. And I'm tired of cowering inside to them. I'm staring to feel like I want to communicate this to them somehow, to take back that power in a real way. Just not really sure where to start or if I should confront them at all, and I know I have to be very careful with myself and not to expect anything from them. But I know what I've been feeling lately and deep inside I feel a need to do something. If you have any feeling about this stuff, please let me know. I could use some feedback.

Thank you, and be well,

mtd