I am so tired of trying to be all right by acting all right. I've finally broken down and told my family exactly how I feel. Which is that if I don't get some kind of help or change soon, I'm going to loose it completely.
I tried to get into one of the local psych wards today, but they are both full up. I have to wait till Monday to do anything else. On Monday I'm gonna start calling around for a psychiatrist, but it will probably take a few weeks before I can go see one. I want a therapist to, but it will be the same thing there. I am probably going to take whatever comes first, pdoc, t, or hospital. I just hope that something changes soon. I'm not thinking about death, I just want to feel better. I want to be my old self again. I want to feel something instead of just being down or numb or with my thoughts all scattered. I keep crying all the time for no reason. I just don't know what to do.