i havent drank this weekend and i totally admit, its been hard, first weekend in over 18 months, if i get to 2 weekends it will be the first in 4 years.
The thought of drinking actually scared me right now because i dont know what i will do. when we drink and don't know the outcome it's time to get real with yourself.
You have to want to stop and only you'll know when that will be, when its gone to far, you cant stop if you really dont want to. true, but how low are u willing to go? alcoholism promises us jails, institutions and death if we don't heed the severe warning signs that we are out of control.
I think i've reached that point.
I know i'm not going to stop drinking forever. that statement is what we call a "reservation". that's why we suggest living in the day-one day at a time. if you stay sober alcohol doesn't have the appeal it once did. our lives become filled with joy. who would want to start up that viscious cycle again by drinking?
My plan is to stop for 1-2 months, with no drinking, just so i know i am in control of it, there's a saying : try to control diarrhea. trying to control our alcoholism is the same. we don't control our alcoholism, alcohol controls us. and then when i go out with friends, plan the exact amounts of drinks i will have and stop at them, one's too many and a thousand are not enough. and if i cant do that then i'll have to rethink and come up with another plan.