okay, billi,

congratulations on coming out. i am sorry to hear of the divorce but, as you know, you have to be true to yourself. though male and gay, i am also a survivor of child abuse by a woman. i continue to have difficulty in my relationships with women. i seem to be a sucker for abuse. i understand your fear of relationships and gayness. my only recommendation is that you go slowly and seek therapy. end your current relationship first. proceed slowly with your lesbian relationship - that way you can develop trust. the effects of childhood abuse are devastating. but, some of us can still succeed in relationships. and, you have met someone special(!!). proceed at your own speed and, all the best to you!