I am finding it hard to come up with words today.
I spent the day with my husband and kids at my in-laws. While he helped them get ready for their garage sale, I sat.. and sat... and sat.

All I could think about was how easy it would be to come home and take too many pills. To make it all go away. To make the endless sadness, pain, and numbness stop.

I know that it is not a solution, which is why i have not done it.

I want to cut instead. I want to feel the pain, to see my own blood flowing... at least then, I will not be so numb, i will feel something