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JustBen said:
I've known men and women who deny they have problems, but I think it's much more common for men. There are really two different issues, though. There are guys who deny they're depressed altogether, and then there are guys who know they're depressed but just don't want to talk about it. There's a book out there called I DONT WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT: OVERCOMING THE SECRET LEGACY OF MALE DEPRESSION. I've been meaning to read it for a while now.

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Hi Ben,

I'll have a look at that title.

There is a statistical question here that interests me. The literature tells us that depression and some related illnesses are much more common in women than men. But, if men don't own up to it, or don't go the the doctors, then the stats will be skewed. Maybe these illnesses are equally distributed, but men are more likely to suffer in silence?

The two guys I mentioned at the beginning were at the peak of denial. One of them said to me, "I keep feeling emotional!" as if this was the worst that could happen to him. My estranged brother did even better, an absolute classic. While talking about our mother, he said, "I sometimes get feelings like Mum gets, but I have purged my emotions, and it doesn't bother me now."

"Purged my emotions." Good grief - it sounds like something out of a sci-fi film.

If men are working this hard to hold back emotions, and if they see depression as an emotional problem, then we will never get a handle on the extent of it. I know it took me many years to allow myself the luxury of the truth.

Cheers, M