Well I did read the article Byz and it did have some good suggestions, but sometimes there is so much about the educational aspects of this Specialist went here and did that, that it can sometimes be a brain weight, I really like to get to the message.

And I think about that when I read posts or post myself, and I do think about trying to provide someone with opting out of how they have somehow made a decision they are no good anymore and are going to be doomed for life and so on.

To be honest, sometimes members present some strong ways of defending their illnesses and life views that are negetive. And often I would like to say to that person, "Your message today is very negetive, and even extremely suggestive of how life is forever going to be terrible, could you please try to put out more incentive provoking thoughts?"

I have to admitt that I don't always say it directly to the person and I do try to present some thoughts that person could read that may incourage that person to change that presentation on their own. Some people, as I have found with children,
can be very stubborn about changing their negetive outlooks. It sometimes draws a picture in my head of that person standing as a defiant child saying "This is my bad mood teddy bear and don't you touch it, it is mine".

I have often taken on children that are stubborn about learning and making efforts to give themselves the right to try, or courage to try. My own daughter presented that to me many times, as well as to her teachers, especially about reading. She would walk by a message board put up to encourage the class to read and simply say, "Oh, I am not going to read that" and walk away, and not even try. And the truth was that my daughter had a disability that made that task very hard. Her brain could not do this task in a normal way, and even though she was young somehow she knew it.

Everytime I worked with these difficult situations I gave options and presented positive ways of getting around the "BAD TEDDY BEAR" and trying anyway and, "OK, YOU CAN BRING YOUR BAD TEDDY BEAR WITH YOU BUT LETS SEE ABOUT TRYING THIS BECAUSE I SEE SOME REAL POSSIBILIES IN YOU DOING MUCH BETTER WITHOUT THAT BAD TEDDY BEAR."

I have to admit that one of the most difficult forums that I see here is the forum for DEPRESSION. And I did make the mistake of going there last night because I saw a name that I really care about. And basically the list of people there and the line after line after line of discussion about this one very "BAD TEDDY BEAR" was a bit overwhelming for me. And there were "NO" encouraging thoughts "AT ALL".

Now, I DO know personally how very difficult this area of "MENTAL HEALTH" can be.
I do stuggle with MY OWN TEDDY BEARS, but I also know that "IT IS NOT A WARM FUZZY TEDDY BEAR AT ALL" so I do my best to try not to "HUG IT AND GIVE IT AFFECTION". So, even though I had my own way of describing my Teddy Bear,
I could not bring myself to "HUGGING IT WITH OTHERS". Instead I talk about different ways that Teddy Bear came to me and how I am working my way through even though it is there. If anything I really try hug to hug a different "TEDDY BEAR THAT IS HOPE, MUCH MORE PROMISING, AND THOUGH IT MAY NOT BE FULL OF STUFFING, I AM WORKING ON "SLOWY" STUFFING IT AND MAKING IT MORE HUGGABLE.

As a support person here at PC ask yourself how you may contribute to that as well.
The one thing that did resinate with me amongst all the hooplah of studies and credentials in that article that is presented by the Byz., is just a few lines that expressed possible ways to do exactly what I am talking about and try to do.

Yes arcangel, I do understand your weariness in seeing some people only talk about
"THEIR TEDDY BEARS EVERY WAY THEY CAN AND HOW THEY CONTINUE TO HUG IT AND DEFEND IT". "BUT" I also know that sometimes just being honest and direct doesn't work. Are you being direct and yet in being direct "HOLDING ONTO YOUR TEDDY BEAR JUST AS TIGHTLY?" Or is your approach to that person just another invitation to give them more reason "TO HOLD THEIR TEDDY BEAR TIGHTER?"

All members have to consider "WHERE WE ARE" when we come to PC. And arcangel, I am often a challenging case, but you "CAN" and "HAVE" had the "SKILL TO ENCOURAGE ME TO LET GO OF MY TEDDY BEAR".

Open Eyes