Woke up grouchy.
I'm taking zoloft, still only on my third or fourth week -- I pray this stuff helps.
I hate depression and anxiety. I don't know what to do with myself.

We have family visiting right now (my partner's sister). Since I am at home I have been taking care of the apartment: cleaning, doing laundry etc. I am feeling slightly resentful today because the place is cluttered again. And, of course, I will be the one to clean it.
My partner is at a seminar all day today.
I have also been looking for a new job after I was let go from my old one. But there just seems to be nothing. Which makes me realize I should really use this time to further my education so that I can have a more specific job area.
I feel so overwhelmed about taking classes and going back to school. But somehow cleaning and taking care of the house is something I feel just well enough to take care of. Yet at the same time I feel jealous of my partner for being in school. It's like I don't know how to make life happen for myself. All it does is fill me with worry. I just want to run away and hide. I keep pushing on... But why? All I enjoy doing is my artwork. And that is ridiculous because it won't earn me anything to live on. So what good is it?
I feel angry at life today. My mind is all over the place. I don't know how exactly to be good to myself. Today everything makes me feel grumpy.
...except PC.
Thanks for listening.