The session that never was... my appointment was at 2pm on Thursday, and I was coming in from out of town. I couldn't sleep the night before, so I overslept. I knew there was no way I would be able to make it in on time, so I called and left a message. I asked if I could pull over and talk to her on the phone during our time, and she said "of course".

During the first 2/3 of the appointment, I talked about current issues: my sister had to put down our 17 year old dog 2 weeks ago, and my cousin's wife was recently hospitalized in a mental health facility for severe postpartum depression. I felt very wistful when talking about the dog. T pointed out that my dog had been in my life for more than half of it, and it was important to acknowledge it as a huge loss even though she was a pet. I said I felt like there really wasn't much to say about it, because she was the best dog we'd ever had and she way outlived her life expectancy, so the experience of owning her couldn't have happened any better than that.

Then, I told her that in these past 10 years there have only been two people who have been a constant presence in my life - "my mom, and you (in your own role)" Everyone else has come in and out." And I thanked her for providing a sense of continuity in my life that I desperately needed. T told me she appreciated me saying that, and that she was sincerely glad to have been here with me in this decade. She said she found me to be incredibly intuitive and that deep down I really do know how to handle a difficult situation, when to make a major life change, and so on. She said she had seen "such growth" in me with my social anxiety, and how I've been putting myself into uncomfortable social situations on purpose, especially in the last year. T also said she felt honored that I wanted to do a session on my birthday.

I'm mad at myself for not being able to see her in person, but things don't always go your way and you have to accept that.