I found my way to this site searching for answers. It's too difficult to share what's really going on with anyone I know. I've created the perception that I am confident, happy and driven. Truth be told, my friends and family have got it all wrong. A few months ago I finally went to a psych and he diagnosed me with depression and I began taking anti-depressants.

As I dive deeper into therapy, new thoughts on my behaviors and tendencies have arisen. I'm a slave to my urges and emotions. Every so often, I abandon entire circles of friends and replace them with new ones. My romantic relationships have an even shorter timeline, typically lasting no more than 2 weeks. I don't know how or why I can form such a strong attraction and/or bond with someone just to wake up one day and feel nothing for them.

Over the last six months, I've had periodic alcohol and drug binges that can last days at a time. The worst part of all of it is that I feel like all of this is not healthy behavior yet I feel numb and sometimes more empty.

Where does it end? How do I turn this around?