Thank you, FooZee,

I'm such an emotional mess that I wonder if my medications ever worked for me. I think I should simply start over. I wonder if the medications I'm on have made me worse.

I don't think I've ever had a problem with paranoia, but I'm feeling paranoid. I've been living in a panic attack for weeks. I have to remind myself to take deep, steady breaths. Sometimes I can go for days in the panic without remembering at all to take the deep breath. I catch myself venting to the nearest person. Then, I'm sorry. No -- not sorry, appalled. I don't know what is happening to me.

I am so scared. I'd be so much better if I could just be safe. If I didn't have to go to work where I'm not around safe people, where I'm not around people I can trust.

I have to go back to work tonight. It's a special occasion. I'll be okay. Just one foot in front of the other.

Deep breath now. No one is really safe. I'm just panicking. Just pick up and go.

Thanks for listening.