I am in the same boat as you. I have been diagnosed for a little over a year with mixed and rapid cycling bipolar disorders. I have been on at least 20 different medicines trying to find the right ones that will stop the ups and downs. Still nothing. I have been put into the hospital once after overdosing on the many medicines prescribed to me by my pdoc. I really think he was out to kill me. I was a zombie for almost a year. My sleep does not come easily. I believe I am getting ready to go back into inpatient care to try to get meds that work. I don't know how much more of this I can take.