I was feeling that way tonight- not exactly as you described but I felt anxious and wanted things to happen or not happen and worried about them. Then I worry that people will hate me for these things and its vicious circle! I agree that I have a hard time stopping it when its happening. Only thing that did tonight is because I remembered the last time and what happened and figured that there's nothing I can do about it. You sound much further along and I agree that ER was not a bad idea. I HATE that feeling. I'm sorry you went through that.