I went and saw my T yesterday and after all the angst and heartache of the last few weeks, we ended up having an amazing session. Of course it started out with him saying, "...seems like you keep trying to get rid of me from your email." Well, ooops.

But in that same email I asked him some of the questions that we talk about sometimes here on PC like do we give them nightmares, or are our relationships real or not, and I shared with him some hurts. He seemed to sense somehow that I needed some healing. We ended up getting on the floor, and we just talked. Man, it was such a relief. I didn't dissociate even once, and we even talked about how vulnerable I get when I do go away, and how badly I don't want to. We even talked about God for a while and some other stuff. I only cried once.

I know that it can't be like that all the time, and that today was a cherished gift...but sometimes I think also that the harder we try, and the more honest we get, the more our T's will be willing to work with us and reach out a little further when we really need them.. I really needed the gift of healing today. And he reached out and gave that to me in a big way.

I even asked for and received a safe huggle back...

oh yeah..and he gave me homework...
well, back to the real world..lol

Wysteria Blue