Hey Broken Wings...
Been just exactly where you are...but subbing out one thing for another is not the way..trust me..will end you up in the hospital or worse..
Please call your T or the SUI crisis lines or get someone to come and stay with you or take you to the ER... You are just to precious to lose, and it's not worth risking that you "know" what just a little too much is.. reach out for help and connections to others..that is the way out right now...
Sending you hugs wrapped in angels wings for safety and security..
Wysteria Blue