I can relate in a way. I was off meds for two years, though for a different reason (everyone said my problems were behavioral and just offered meds to scare me). I have never stopped my meds, but I do sometimes wonder whether I should and should leave this institution, no therapy, etc. etc. But really if you want to test yourself, you should always quit meds under a doctor's supervision. Stopping meds abruptly can be dangerous physically.