|
Sep 14, 2011, 10:53 AM
|
 |
|
|
Member Since: Aug 2011
Location: new mexico
Posts: 470
|
|
Quote:
Originally Posted by Trippin2.0
Either I really wanna prove i'm 'better' or i just pushed self-destruct...
Stopped seeing my T, stopped my meds and am REFUSING to be bipolar ( if that even makes sense ) scared of ending up in hospital and yet i'm enticed by it. Sick hey? I can't be in denial, i KN0W I'm bp... But i d0nt want to be. Now i w0n't take my medz, CAN'T take my medz no matter what little pep talk i give myself. Do i really wanna destroy myself? And why?? WTF am i even doing. I have NOBODY 2 talk to about this, and even if i could,i wouldn't even kn0w how. I'm so scared of myself right n0w...
|
Any one can refuse to be "bipolar" or whatever, but it doesn't change the fact. i will always have a mental illness, always, but with meds, and knowing how to take a day at a time, or even moment by moment, i hope to do the best i can. someone said to me, stop all the meds and become normal... hey, when i don't take meds, i end up in a psy ward. and i have served enough time there. from what you posted, i understand exactly how you are right now. i don't think i want to destroy myself, i Know other people do.... so i steer clear of a lot of them. plus they don't care if i destroyed me, but i will not give them the satisfaction.. hang in there.
|