I convinced myself once that my doctor was just giving me placebos and that going to see him was just a waste of money because I was still having some episodes. It had been a long time since I had any problems and I convinced myself maybe I really wasn't bipolar, just confused about life or something. So after I stopped I had a really bad episode and then felt even more awful afterwards because I knew the severity was my fault for not taking my medicine. Now I've learned that the medicine won't take away all the symptoms but can definitely make them less severe. I think its hard though because when you're up you think "I'm ok, I don't need to take all this crap or spend any money on this, I'm fine!" and when you're down you figure "Obviously this stuff isn't helping, its just a waste of time. What's the point." Its really our choice whether or not to take our meds, but its a hard choice to make when the illness you're taking the meds for confuses you into thinking you don't need/want them.