At some point, I hope something in your brain says "Call the pdoc" or "go to the PER... just because". I know that every time I have an episode it gets worse. Called the kindling effect. You don't want the next time to be worse than your last, right? I do judo so I hear you- but at the same time, you can get the benefits while on meds. I switched to lithium since I just could NOT stand Depakote or any anti-psychotics. HUGS