It is so brave to be able to say this. I am so ashamed of the fact that I needed my cold distant Ts responses, validation, and now I see that I would have done anything to get them. And I am so far away from being able to spill the beans, because I think I would have been judged for it. My heart aches for the chance to do that with a professional who could help. Congratulate yourself for considering taking the steps around self disclosure. For me, I have to have some false starts before change can stick, so keep in mind that you can run to the edge of change, look up, back off, approach again, look sideways, run sideways, and then fly. You guys are so brave and inspiring to me, particularly after my disaster yesterday. It's really affirming. Hugs, MCL