Quote:
Originally Posted by mcl6136
It is so brave to be able to say this. I am so ashamed of the fact that I needed my cold distant Ts responses, validation, and now I see that I would have done anything to get them. And I am so far away from being able to spill the beans, because I think I would have been judged for it. My heart aches for the chance to do that with a professional who could help. Congratulate yourself for considering taking the steps around self disclosure. For me, I have to have some false starts before change can stick, so keep in mind that you can run to the edge of change, look up, back off, approach again, look sideways, run sideways, and then fly. You guys are so brave and inspiring to me, particularly after my disaster yesterday. It's really affirming. Hugs, MCL
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Hi mc16136, part of me does think that T will be angry - I think that is part of the shame, but also because I didn't tell him at the time and it was probably significant to tell him then as I was struggling and it was important that he didn't push to much then. I am worried he will think he can't trust me in the future and will therefore refuse to work with me - that would devasate me, it is OK for me to want to leave him, but not for him to want to leave me. I can be braver on here - but my brain swears me to silence in that room with T.
Thanks for the bit about running to the edge of change that makes sense to me - the therory part of this T think is relatively easy isn't it? How do we transfer it to the doing bit. Take care mc16136 - Soup