Ok, so Monday I started working at a meat packing plant and I felt really great then I did the math on the income and came up with what I already knew, it wasn't near enough money. I finally applied for aid from the government and now I feel worthless. I can't pay my bills, I can't pay my child support, I can't afford to buy a car that I need. I've been spiraling downwards for a long time and I just can't get my feet under me. I am at a point where I need other people to support me and it really is destroying me. I'm not even sure if I will be granted any aide and I just don't care, I'm almost hopping that I don't get any. I've worked since I was 15 and always managed, if barely, to get by. I raised three children while I paid for my ex-wife to go to school for nursing. I worked two jobs when needed and never had any reservations about it. Then I had a breakdown and my life crumbled around me. My wife left me, I was self employed but couldn't manage to keep it going any more. I lost a lot of work because I just couldn't commit to it anymore and it showed in my work. My mother passed and it was just to much. So here I am trying to live my life and I just can't come up with the reasons I used to have to keep it up. I really don't know how to start it seems like I don't have anything left even though I know I do. I need to talk to someone I just can't and I know part of it is pride and I can't admit it to someone in person so I am hoping this will help. I know I'm reaching the breaking point again and am struggling to avoid getting there I need to work at least it's something and if I end up in the hospital I am screwed even worse than I am now. I was on Lexapro and found an agency in ohio that can discount it but it is still $110, how can that possibly help? It just seems that there is no hope for the future, that things will never get better.