Evangelista it took years for me not to react negatively to people that I misinterpreted. I had issues with people from my past and when I encountered people who in some way reminded me of them I would react childishly. Major transference and projection. I didn't know at the time what was going on but thank heavens I realized or I would have alienated just about everyone I know.
But I worked at it and consider myself liberated of a lot of the baggage I used to carry around. I'm also much nicer to be around too
Anyway what you're saying makes sense to me and I can so relate.